You are a unique snowflake. Yes, you may be similar to everyone else, but no one is exactly like you. No one has experienced life exactly the same way as you. Your experiences are unique to you because they have built up and molded the person you are today. Like everything else, this can be a good thing or this can be a bad thing.
Just because you or someone else sees you in a certain light, that does not have to represent who you really are. You can be anything you want to be.
You have absolutely no obligation to be the person you were a moment ago. You have no obligation to uphold another person’s standards. The only person you need to please is yourself. Are you happy with the person you have become? If not, then the only way to fix it is to take action. Move in the direction of the person you want to become.
Before you can take action, you must first change the course of your thoughts. Your thoughts must support your actions. If you want to be someone who is charitable, but subconsciously you are a selfish person, then you must acknowledge the fact that you need to change. Once you begin creating thoughts that support your new charitable ideals, then you will naturally act as a charitable person.